Tips for Travelling with Your Partner
Otherwise known as The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.
Words, Stefanie Ash
Okay so here’s the thing, it’s not that I don’t love travelling with my partner. In fact, I relish the relationship-strengthening experiences travelling as a duo can provide. But, after years of travelling independently, I’ve come to truly understand how I like to experience a destination, and I’m kind of hooked!
When you’re going it alone, travel becomes an inherently private experience, as you tend to dive headfirst into the cultural swimming pool of another country because, quite frankly, it’s your only option. You don’t have another person to filter your experiences or to be used as a social-crutch.
When you travel alone you settle-into your seamless routine. You know whether you’re a tourist or a traveller; a gourmet-explorer or a happy-snapper; a sleep-in-and-party-later-er or a unique adventure-seeker. When you travel alone, you become besties with your somewhat-selfishly nuanced travel routine.
You get it all down to a fine art and then suddenly it all turns a tad complicated when you embark off the beaten track with someone else in tow! And what happens if your travel styles are as opposite as chalk and cheese? What if your partner doesn’t want to sit on milk-crates tasting unidentified flying objects from street carts, or tempt Hepatitis B from waterfalls in Cambodia, or worse, what if… instead of staying in a unique design hotel or an off-grid villa, they want to stay at a giant soulless resort? I shudder to think.
I’ve had my fair share of shall we say ‘interesting’ couples travel experiences over the years. From the familiar overtired airport bust-ups to arguments over who gets the window seat, to the more detrimental things like disagreeing on whether you should go to a family-feast being thrown in your honour by locals you met just that very day, because one half of your duo was worried about the language barrier. Non-Comprende?!
While I can’t help you with these fundamental differences (if you want to mingle with the locals and they don’t, just ditch them), what I can offer, after my many years of social travel anthropology, is how to take a trip with your significant other without wanting to maim them. Further, I can offer some tried and true tips that help each other gain the most from your dual trip. Because sharing another culture with someone else can be a real turn on.
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Never Stop Compromising
I get it, I do. Sometimes the ‘c’ word is annoying. Sometimes you don’t want to compromise. Sometimes you want to be the master of your own adventure because after all, you’ve been looking forward to it for months now. But what you don’t know is that more often than not, compromise is the difference between the expected and the unexpected. Maybe your partner wants to do a tour that you’re not too fussed on, but being the good little compromiser you go anyway. Maybe on that tour, you hit-it-off with the guide who suggests he takes you both out for a private ‘locals tour’ tomorrow for a pittance of what it cost you today. Moral of the story: adventure lies in compromise and you never know what can happen if you’re open to new experiences!
Schedule in Some Alone Time Every Couple of Days
Alone time. It’s gospel. It makes sense to plan an afternoon exploring a city on your own. There’s something so refreshing about getting lost in an unfamiliar city and finding yourself again. And best of all, you can meet-up with your significant other that evening and exchange stories about it.
Don’t Play The Blame Game
This follows on from the compromise theory. If you’re partner chooses a tour that ends up being a big fat dud, the last words that should be coming out of your mouth should be “I told you so!”
Still Date When You’re On The Road
Not other people, obviously. Whether travelling for a week or a year, it’s important to still make time for your relationship. By scheduling in fun, location-driven couples activities once or twice a week you’ll keep that elusive spark alive. Plus, there’s nothing quite like falling in love with a city while romancing your partner.
Respect the Type of Traveller Your Partner Is
Some people like to take a lot of photos. If that’s not something you’re keen on, and you’d rather be out living the adventure then by all means, you do you boo, but just don’t complain when the other is spending a bit more time snapping away. Similarly, if you do like to take the odd photo or fifty, try to do so sporadically throughout the day. Everybody’s different, and that’s both the beauty and bane of travelling with someone else. On the one hand, living through your partner’s travel experience as well as your own can bring a whole new perspective to the adventure, but if your partner doesn’t respect and accept your differences, then you may have a big problem.
Focus on the Mutual Travel Goals
As I said above, everybody’s different. But chances are you’re with your significant other because you share a multitude of similar values. Same goes with travel, your loved one might be into adventure travel and you may prefer a meditation retreat, but you both value taking some time out of your busy schedules to lie on a beach for a week. So that’s what you’ll do! If you focus on the things you have in common, and make your holiday about those mutual travel goals then it’s going to be more beneficial and enjoyable for the both of you.
Eat and Sleep Well
It’s a widely known fact that some people *kuhemmm* get snarky when hungry. And sometimes, it’s not as easy as walking across the road to buy some lunch – especially if you have food intolerances. When you’re on the road make sure you pack some ‘emergency eats’ and get at least seven hours of sleep to minimize any grumpy food and sleep-related outbursts! You can thank me later.
